TAM'S MOMblings: Make Time for Shake Time

Tiffany. Michael Jackson (and his sister Janet, too). John Cougar Mellencamp. NKOTB. MC Hammer. Hanson. NKOTB.

Tonight we kicked off 80's and 90's Flashback at Zumba and it was legendary. What could possibly be more fun that shaking it to the rhythms and sounds of these radical decades while wearing bright lipstick and sporting big hair? Nothing, I tell you, absolutely nothing.

As I left class, I found myself reflecting upon this state and place that I find myself in. It is a place where I am comfortable in my own skin and I eat fruits and vegetables, make sure I make time for breakfast, and co-teach a Zumba class 3 times a week. The journey of sweat and sacrifice that got me here is one of my favorite parts of my story.

Fitness Instructor WannaBe

I definitely did my share of pretending while I was growing up. I'll never tell, but I may, or may not, actually do my share of it, still to this day. One of the many roles that I jumped into was that of a fitness instructor. While dancing around to Richard Simmons' "Sweatin' to the Oldies," I wore a convincing smile, shouted out instructions to my mother and sisters exuberantly, and gave it my all. After taking a step aerobics class in college, I bought my own step and made up new routines in my basement bedroom, smiling at my wall, still shouting out instructions to... myself, I guess, and perhaps the imaginary hidden cameras. I made my sisters join me in synchronized swimming routines when the waves were calm in the ocean on our vacations. Since they have now learned to refuse participation, I have begun subjecting my niece to this great fun and Keira is certainly next.

I pretended, but never in my wildest dreams thought that such a thing would ever happen. It seemed almost as far fetched to me as moving to Hollywood and becoming a star. (Oh, please Lord, make me an actress in my next life. Please.) It was so far out my reach because a chest my size could not be contained by even 3 sports bras, let alone fit into a leotard. I would only ever be a wannabe because I wasn't comfortable in my own skin.

Leading Up to the Shake

I have lived much of my life as the typical girl entrenched in the expectations of the culture that sets the standard for the perfect body and I always felt that I could never live up to these impossibilities. Although I probably would have always considered myself just a bit above average on the scale, those blasted fat tests always landed me in the obese category. I suffered from poor body image, to say the very least. Beginning in junior high, thoughts of dissatisfaction with myself began to seemingly take over my life. But, alas, I will not dwell on junior high. Please tell me if there is a person in this world who feels comfortable in their own skin during these treacherous years.

Let's just get past that depressing business to the more recent events that have led to my shaking ability. Shortly after my 30th birthday I decided that I wasn't going to be fat anymore. Okay, okay, I know that "fat" is a 4-letter word. Seriously, don't ever use that word to describe yourself or anyone else. Don't let your children say it. Avoid the use of it at all costs. I just had to use it here because that it what I decided. I made a conscious decision to stop being a fatty. (There, I did it again. Please forgive, yes?)

During the year leading up to my 30th birthday, Keira was born. Did you know that while you are nursing you can eat pretty much whatever the heck you want and not gain any weight? Did you also know that when you stop nursing you cannot continue eating whatever the heck you want or you WILL gain weight? Apparently I didn't get that memo. I am pretty sure I gained 20 pounds the instant that child was off the boob. (This post may contain the "too-much-information" I was talking about from here on out. Consider this your warning.) I am what you might call a "bottomless pit" and I took full advantage of that gift during my pregnancy and the breast feeding bit. Whenever someone says, "Wow, I'm full," I instantly think to myself, "What in the world does that feel like?" That is what I mean by bottomless pit. And what I mean by taking advantage of it is that during the year before I turned 30 we moved within a mile of Dairy Queen and Taco Bell. Blizzards and Nachos Bell Grande became serious food groups.

I loved my life. I had a job I loved, the cutest baby ever, friends and family all around me, and yet I was miserable in my body. My clothes were tight. I had to change my clothes 4 times each morning until I found something I could bear to look at myself wearing and I just could not believe the unhealthy hole I had dug for myself and had no idea how to get out of it.

Starting to Shake It Off

We visited my BFF during Memorial Day weekend shortly following my 30th birthday and they were on a Weight Watchers kick. I got inspired and decided to kick it myself. I came home and emptied my pantry and refrigerator of all things fatty and unhealthy and labeled all the food that remained with a permanent marker signifying their Points value. I bought a food scale and measured my lean meat when it came home from the grocery store, divided it into 4 oz. portions, and placed it in ziploc bags. I started eating breakfast, something I had never made time for before. My breakfast consistently contained egg whites, yogurt, and fruit. I ate lunch and healthy snacks. Most vegetables have always given me a gagging reflex, but I found the ones that I can stomach without serious reactions and began having huge, leafy, green salads twice a day. There was no sugar. Sugar was out for 3 months straight. This was nothing short of a small miracle.

I got up in the morning before it got too hot and ran. The morning also consisted of Bob and Jillian yelling at me to keep going if I wanted results. Those Biggest Loser workouts are no joke. In the evening there were long walks and bike rides. Exercise was not optional. I made time for it every day and made no apologies.

I knew that I could do it and there was no turning back when I returned from our July 4th family reunion, always packed with more delicious food than you can imagine, to discover that I had lost 7 pounds that week. By the end of the summer I had lost 25 pounds and I felt better than ever.

Later that fall I became pregnant again, but I kept up my healthy eating habits and continued exercising. This became more difficult after the summer months, but exercise was not optional and I still made no apologies. The third trimester brought on the occasional blizzard and pizza and I make no apologies for this either.

During my second go at nursing, I made better decisions. Six weeks after Judah came into the world, I started Weight Watchers again. I could eat a lot more because I was breast feeding, but keeping track of what I ate kept me from gorging myself and it helped to ensure that I was eating the right things.

Judah was born in March and I discovered Zumba in June. The rest is history.

Discovering the Shake

I had heard about this Zumba phenomenon for a while, but wasn't really sure what it was all about. The first time I made it to a class I was late. Of course I was late; I had a 3 year old and a newborn at home. I walked into a large room in the middle of the warm-up and found myself surrounded by 100 other women and was immediately enveloped by the loud music and contagious energy. As I began to latch onto the jumps and the turns and the shakes, a smile spread impulsively across my face and tears burned my eyes. Yes, I cried right there in the middle of Zumba. Maybe I should be embarrassed by that, but I'm just going to say that I'm not. There is something amazing about being surrounded by a group of women who are just doing the best that they can to take care of themselves in the midst of the chaos and pressures of life. Every single body type was represented and there was "no right or wrong to shake it." Everybody shakes it differently and that is a magnificent thing. It felt like home. It felt like one of those things that I was absolutely designed to do.

Discovering Zumba also helped me discover the fun ways that my hips can move. I never knew this. Dancing was not really something that was allowed while I was growing up, except behind closed doors, I suppose, and so I had to practice swinging my hips and pulsating at home for weeks before I finally really got the feel of it. I downloaded the songs from the routines and got my living room shaking on the nights there was no class. I'll never forget the first time Matt sat down on the couch while I was practicing at home. His eyes nearly popped out of his head and he quickly found songs that were his favorites. Apparently he didn't know I could move like that either.

Right before Thanksgiving I ran 5 miles straight for the first time and by Christmas I had lost another 25 pounds. I had also lost 50 inches and my jean size dropped 8 sizes.

After my second go around at nursing was complete, I rewarded myself with a trip to Victoria's Secret. Before my weight loss, bras from Vicky's were not an option for me. At my size, I needed some serious support that only specialty online sites could provide. I went into VS and unashamedly found a sales associate and told her I needed to be measured. The accurate measurement revealed a C-cup. Excuse me, what? My last accurate measurement was a G. G. Did you even know such a thing existed? I had gone straight from no bra to a D-cup. I don't think a training bra ever graced my bosom. Seriously, a C-cup? Did this mean that I may be able to wear button up shirts now? This may have been one of the best days of. my. life.

That spring I did two things that I never thought could be done. First, I became a certified Zumba instructor. I was no longer a wannabe. Thank You, Jesus. I also ran the Indy Mini Marathon. My goal was to run the whole thing without walking. I didn't care about the time; I just wanted to reach the finish line, and I did.

Keeping the Shake Alive

East Side Zumba kicked off during May of 2011 and I quickly found friendship with two other girls who had also been recently certified as we worked together to choreograph and plan for our new class that we hoped would impact the lives of women. They have both been dancers since shortly out of the womb and I am so thankful that they are so patient with me as I have only recently converted to shaking. I have to say, I freakin' love these girls.

This past year I've just lived comfortably in my skin for the first time... ever. Exercise is not optional. Breakfast is not optional. I try to make healthy food choices and when I don't, it's a conscious decision that I'm in control of, and I know that it's not the end. I know that I'll just make a better decision next time and I don't beat myself up for it.

Shaking it Pregnant Style

This third pregnancy has changed my body once again, but I know that's what it's supposed to do and I know that it is beyond worth it. That being said, I miss my C-cups like crazy. I cannot even begin to describe the extent of how much I miss them. The DD's have returned and will remain with me for at least another year. I'm still shaking it the best I can and plan to continue to shake that baby right out when the time comes. I'm still trying to eat the best I can, but I know I'll be back to no excuses when I welcome baby #3, so I am admittedly indulging frequently in multiple, giant spoonfuls of cookie dough, caramel sauce, and icing (some of my favorites). And don't even get me started on Kettle Cooked salt and pepper chips.

Last week I told my mom that the doctor's scale revealed that I have already gained 20 pounds with this pregnancy. Although a good response would have been, "You know those scales at the doctor's office are never right!" or "That sounds about right since you are this far along, " or even, "You don't need to worry about it. I am pretty sure all twenty of those pounds are in your belly and boobs," she instead said, "Well, you know, it's because of all that stuff you've been eating!" Really, mom? This may be true, but really, mom? I really am going to kick my healthy habits into high gear when November comes, but really, mom?

Make Time for Shake Time

Diet and exercise doesn't run my life; it has just become a natural part of it. I have discovered the joy of caring for my body and soul in a way that shows I truly believe that God thinks I'm worth it and God thinks I'm beautiful, truths I have always struggled to believe.

Make Time for Shake Time. You won't regret it.