As I settle in as a mother of 4, I feel more invited and willing than ever to savor every moment. I find myself laughing while Daphne cries because there may not be anything quite as precious as a newborn baby's cry. I cried many unexpected tears myself the moment we left the hospital. I was concerned for a split second that this could be the beginning of some postpartum yuckiness, but quickly knew that could not be it because I felt so incredibly grateful. I think it was a subconscious realization that this part of my life is over. I'll never again receive the pampering of a new mother at the hospital. Matt and I will never bring a new baby home for the first time. I'll never feel a baby kick inside of me and I'll never wake my husband up in the early hours of the morning and whisper, "it's time" and then rush to the hospital to make sure we don't have to do an emergency delivery in the car.
I know someday I'll be thankful when my body is my own again... No more growing babies or feeding babies. (I have been pregnant or nursing for at least 3/4 of my married life!) It may be easier when they can all dress themselves and when Matt and I can have a date night without having to pay a babysitter. That season of life will surely be beautiful and good, but I don't want to miss the beauty of this season. And it is so beautiful. Dirty diapers, toys covering the floor, and the theme song from "Sofia the First" stuck in my head. Waking up with extra kids in our bed who crawled in while we slept, unaware. Little House on the Prairie marathons and battles at bedtime. Sometimes it seems like too much to balance.
But then the newborn diapers have all been used up and it has gone by too fast.
