“Give yourself grace and don’t read the comments section.”
Last night I was asked for advice by a sweet friend about to
become a mom for the first time. Those
were the first thoughts to come to mind, pieces of advice I would do well to
heed for myself. (Does anyone out there
actually have the self-control to stay away from the comments section? Not me.
And it gets me worked up Every. Single. Time.) As a working mom with 4 children, I am asked
several times a week how I “do it.” I
generally respond by saying that I usually just feel like I’m barely getting by
and that it is only possible because I have a wonderful husband. While those are the two most true statements,
here are some other things that I’m learning and trying to embrace because,
Mamas, we are in this together!
- · Embrace the Village
I struggle with mommy guilt as much
as the next person, but it’s getting better.
I don’t have to be and do all things for my children all the time. In fact, they actually need other people
pouring into their life. My parents have
the Elf on the Shelf covered so we don’t have one at our house. (Thank the Lord.) They get hearty home cooked meals at the
babysitter’s. We have so many family and friends who love them, hug them, speak
truth, and provide laughter and fun. I
can’t be there all the time and I can’t do everything. And that is more than ok.
- · All They Need is Love
Speaking of not being able to do
everything… I’m terrible at playing. We
don’t go a lot of special places like the Zoo or Museums or Parades. They don’t always get everything they want
and I have to apologize a lot for my poor responses, but you can bet that my
kiddos know that I love them. And when
I’m feeling like I’m not doing enough, that I’m not enough, I have to remind
myself of this. All they really need is
love.
- · Fight the Urge to Compare
We all do this mom thing differently. Don’t compare and don’t judge. It just isn’t worth it. I work and I have friends who homeschool and
we all understand that is just how our lives work and neither is better than
the other considering that we all love our kids. (See above.)
It isn’t my mission in life to keep up on the latest car seat rules or
opinions (Gasp!) My kids eat fresh vegetables and they eat Eggo waffles. As much as I wish I could be that mom who
only does organic, it’s just not gonna work for me right now. And again, that’s
a-ok.
- · Keep It in Perspective
For most of my life, it has been extremely
important for me to be on time.
Promptness is one of the four spiritual laws, right? Yeah, right.
No. I have spent so many mornings
yelling at my kids to hurry up and barking orders and one day I realized (or rather received a gentle reminder from
God) that showing my kids patience and love is so much more important than
being on time. I am still so bad at
this, but I’m thinking about it and I’m trying.
I will never be on time again, but I’m doing my best to love my kids
well (and make sure that I have time for coffee!)
- · Screen Time may Increase Sanity (and Showers!)
What you say? You can’t believe that all my kids are
holding an electronic device at a restaurant?
Well, on this particular day this is the first time this week that my
husband and I have had a chance to have a meaningful conversation. Sometimes I need a nap. So my kids watch cartoons. Sometimes I need a shower. So my 3 year old plays on my iPad. They are still creative and well rounded
little people.
- · Make Time For You
I can’t be a good mama if I’m not taking
care of myself. It feels unbelievably
selfish sometimes, but I know I need exercise, friendship, coffee, and well
kept nails.
- · Give Yourself Grace
I fail.
A lot. I think I’ll just try to
do a little better next time. And I’ll try to extend this same grace to the
precious little ones entrusted to me.
- · …And Do Not Read the Comments. Seriously.
