Breathe, Reflect, Live

I sit in a coffee shop with less than 60 minutes between one responsibility and another and I breathe deeply. When the barista turns on Simon and Garfunkel in the background and the sun creeps in and touches me where I have perched myself in the cozy window seat, I am completely at peace. I close my eyes and savor the moment. It could be days or weeks or months until this moment comes again. I can think about anything I want to, without the words, "Hey, Mama!" ringing in my ears or the loud dryer buzz reminding me that there are clothes to fold and bathrooms to scrub.  I can think about anything I want to, without my to-do list haunting me or deadlines and meetings pressing in upon me, or I can think about nothing at all.  As I breathe in and breathe out, the pressure that has been building deep within me releases and there is space to reflect and simply be.  I decompress and I am grateful. So incredibly grateful.  This season is full. My days begin and they do not end until my head hits the pillow, with few moments in between to catch my breath. 

This season is full, but its fullness is filled with goodness. It is filled with my children's laughter and a marriage that just keeps getting better. It is filled with friendship, frivolity, and purpose.  Every facet of my life is marked by relationships that are caring and challenging.  My work and my play and my family bring me joy and are beyond what I could have have ever hoped for or imagined. Life is full. Some days I don't know how I am going to make it. I can't fathom how it can possibly work.  Life is full and hard and overwhelming, but it is so good. 

And so I breathe and I reflect and I don't worry that I haven't checked off anything on the post-it note I brought in with me covered with reminders. I embrace these moments of peace. 

As the clock reminds me that it is time to go, I am ready and filled with joy. I am going to pick up my kids and we'll sing songs from "Frozen" at the top of our lungs in the car and their voices and smiles will cause the love in my heart to explode.  I am going to lead an incredible and diverse group of women in a fun workout with loud music and flashing colored lights and all the stress that each beautiful woman brought in with them from their chaotic life will be released as we dance and sweat and breathe.  I am going to laugh with friends and I am going to get to see my sister and we are going to enjoy life together and pretend we're still teenagers and it's going to be great.

I have breathed deeply and now it is time to go. It is time to go, but I am ready to go where I am going.